Do woman need a checlist to please their husband these days? what do you think of mine?

I notice woman are not putting their husbands first anymore, I always make sure my husband is pleased and comes first. Even before my children, after all I would not have them if it was not for him. I created a check list to help woman keep their hisbands at home and happy. This is just some of it, let me know what you think. Does it need improvement?








1


As a housewife of the you won't be required to hold a job outside the home. In fact you really won't be allowed to because it would be an insult to the male of the family for not being able to provide for his wife and family! So relax and buy a box of bonbon' s.








2


Always wake at least two hours before your husband so you can shower, do your hair, put on make up and a really nice dress and high heels. You must always look your best when he see' s you first thing in the morning and never, ever have morning breath or look sleepy.








3


Next cook a nourishing breakfast for the whole family. Stuff them with eggs, beacon, biscuits made from scratch, gravy, milk, orange juice and don't forget the perfect jams and jellies you canned all by yourself during the dog days of summer. Stuff them until they can't move and are sure to gain enough weight to be a battle ship in dry dock.





4


Be sure when they are getting ready for work and their school day you have clean clothes out for everyone. Do not make them choose their own outfit. Silly woman, that's you job! Always make sure they are wearing the latest up to date styles so everyone will think they are keen.





5


Be sure you pack a good lunch for them. For the kid's pack a good sandwich, chips, carrot sticks, cupcakes, fruit, a thermos of milk and a thermos of hot soup! Don't forget the note with words of love and support.





6


Now it's time for you! First refresh your makeup and hair. Then start with cleaning the kitchen from top to bottom. Don't worry if the floors look clean enough because it's still best to clean them again so your family can make you eat off of them and not worry about your health.








7


Now for all the laundry you must gather from each room in the house and start washing. Never day them in a dryer. That is a waste of money when you can spend time hanging them on an outside line for the fresh air scent. When they are finished drying you will bring them in, sprinkle them with a little water and roll them in a tight ball so you can iron it all the next day. Make sure to keep it all in the laundry room out of sight of the husband and kid's. They deserve a relaxed life.





8


Next pick up the living room, bedroom, and all other rooms in the house. Dust everything within an inch of it's life and vacuum all floors. Now clean the bathroom and scrub every surface for the fresh clean smell. You would never want your family to see anything disgusting in your bathroom and you really don't want the neighbors to inspect your work when they come to visit.





9


Well, it's time for a break. Make yourself a light lunch of salad, no dressing and an apple. Don't want to lose the figure you had the day you got married. You know, when you were 18 years old, 2 less kids, one less husband and 20 less years! While you are eating you can watch your favorite soap opera while darning the socks of the whole family or creating lovely clothes by hand or polishing all the stainless steel you own. Never let the grass grow under your pretty high heels! Be productive while relaxing.





10


The kids will be home from school soon so you must make sure you have made a batch of home made cookies with plenty of butter and sugar. A big glass of chocolate milk and their favorite TV shows while they do their homework.


You will be making dessert for tonight, putting the dinner to cook of ham, fresh peeled and mashed potatoes, fresh green beans with beacon, more biscuits and lots of butter!





11


Now all you have to do before hubby gets home from work is set the table, clean the rooms again, make the kids clean up and look cute as pie, refresh yourself with a new dress and different shoes. Evening hair do, nice makeup, a happy smile and NO complaints about anything.





That is all I have so far :) Does it need Improvement ? I believe in constructive critisism :)|||I didnt know we are in 1950s any more!! I work and so does my man! We both do housework and cooking!!|||That is a long checklist which I scanned and did not see "Get him beer" anywhere in there. You may be thinking about this too hard.|||I seriously hope this a joke.|||this is beaver's mom...





those days are long gone...|||Lol...hello Mrs. Cleaver.|||That was meant to be funny right? Because it was.. hahah yeah exactly what I was thinking of the whole time! Mrs. Clever|||I can guarantee this list would drive my husband right out of the house. He's not a child, and doesn't expect to be treated like one. The only thing missing on here is spitting on your hand to paste his hair down, checking to make sure he washed behind his ears, and asking if he has to go potty before he leaves home.|||I think you live in a time warp. That's sad....if you come to be with all of us in the 2011's you'll find you are quite capable of being a fully independent thinking human being who is married to another one....quite nice.





As for your list- you have neglected personal genital grooming and oral sex for him daily- YOU don't need any so don't add that to your list. Not to worry- living like that you'll be on medication in no time and floating through your groovy days.|||I call balderdash on this. You are not serious, I only read the opening paragraph, and as a man, I'm sure you are being sarcastic. As a mother, no one on earth comes before your children. Second, any "Man" worthy of the title will see to it that his woman is pleased first, knowing that is the seed that produces his happiness. If this is a serious list and you really do believe in what you have said here, I recommend you see a qualified therapist to bring you out of your state of shock.|||all that is one big joke to all women that's why I don't feel sorry for all of you that are complaining about a bad marriage and how bad you were treated you deserve it.|||Looks like the list I gave my ex-wife.......! Then she left me....!|||I read all of this to my husband and he loves you already. I'm not sure I believe this is true saying I dont think your real this is to much this is fake right. Who does this? and if you do do this then you must be mental not trying to be insulting or anything I was just really taken back by this whole post I think that you do have something to add though Time To YOURSELF with out doing any work take a day to just get away or just be lazy. Just me if this is how you like your life and you are happy then more power to you you sound like an amazing wife.